Learn to Live Alone
by GwennielOfNargothrond
Summary: Celeborn s thoughts on Galadriel sailing away.


**Learn to Live Alone**

Quotes by J.R.R. Tolkien that inspired me:

_"By [Nenya´s] power the realm of [Lórien] was strengthened and made beautiful; but its power upon [Galadriel] was great also and unforeseen, for it increased her latent desire for the sea and for return into the West so that her joy in Middle-Earth was diminished. "  
__ -History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Unfinished Tales_

_"For the Elves the world moves, and it moves both very swift and very slow. Swift, because they themselves change little, and all else fleets by.: it is a grief to them. Slow, because they do not count the running years, not for themselves. The passing seasons are but ripples ever repeated in the long, long stream. Yet beneath the sun all things must wear to an end at last."  
__-Legolas in "The Great River"; Fellowship of the Ring_

_"But Celeborn said: `Kinsman, farewell! May your doom be other than mine and your treasure remain with you to the end.` "  
__-Many Partings; Return of the King_

* * *

Even if I try to think of the moment now and flow with the stream. Often I walk around in the woods of Lórien only to see that things have changed whereas I have not. Since the fall of Sauron Lórien has slowly faded and now it is but a shadow of what it once was: not more special than any other forest on this side of the Sea. The mallorns slowly withered away and the flowers... I don´t even know. Did the frost take them? My family is long gone, and all I have left are my memories. Memories of Doriath, of Beleriand, of Eregion, and of Lothlórien. Things that have been but are no longer. Much like my wife.

_...his sorrow is a madness gnawing him from the inside..._

A statement I have heard from both Elves and mortals. The Elves say it with pity knowing my sorrow as well. The mortals utter it with a hint of fear and amusement in their voices. They do not understand it because their lives are always too short to really see the time moving. Many Elves that were left in Lórien when Galadriel sailed away are gone. Either they followed her or moved to Greenwood or Ithilien. But some linger here. We wanted to preserve the bliss, yet with the peace it was taken away. How ironic. I guess I could and should have gone with Galadriel, but I didn´t share her happy memories of days in Aman. My home is here in Middle-Earth.

_...he has been deserted. Overshadowed by his deserter. Has always been..._

Has always been? No, not always. There was a love between me and the Lady for a long time. We had a daughter even. But in the end it turned out we were too different and at some point we were more associates than lovers. She was always longing for power. Power in it´s good sense, but power still. Rule over peoples and nature. When she lost the chances to that she wandered off. Maybe she should have gone right there at the end of the first Age, but at that time she hadn´t yet achieved her dreams, and we were still deeply in love. Centuries later we weren´t, but she still lusted for reign. Not enough to take the One Ring - she hadn´t lost her wits - but enough to follow her own mind. Instead of asking me for council or even let me into all her business, we both did what we wanted and she spent ages before her mirror deep in the forest of Caras Galadhon. But deserted? I still have my grandsons. They live in Rivendell. Almost as forgotten as Lórien.

_...but what now? Can he linger here forever?..._

I can, and I just might. It is not a thing unheard of. Did not Maglor son of Fëanor do so? He wandered on the shores until he was lost in the waves when the world changed. Cannot also I travel away and go maybe South or East. Maybe to Dorwinion with its famous wines that Thranduil is so fond of. Or then go even further until I come to where Cuiviénen once was. Maybe still some Avari live there as old tribes mingled with the Hildor. Now, isn´t the world now full of opportunities to try to live alongside with the time. Yet, my memories would still haunt me. Maybe it is not too late to go to Valinor. There my troubles should be forgotten. Surely my fate is not to become a lost wanderer in the wild?

_...he was just as wise as a figure out of cardboard can be..._

I once looked into the mirror of Galadriel. I saw a lord of Elves in a forest. Waves crashed into the trees and all was lost except for one harp that popped up above the waves. When I tried to take the harp Maglor snatched it from my fingers. I withdrew my hand. He looked sternly but pityingly at me. Then he, too, was lost into the faraway land shimmering in the horizon. I glanced at Galadriel. She said nothing. But I know she would have followed the others, not me.

_~the end_


End file.
